If you are like most women on this planet, you may have noticed that many things about men have eluded us for centuries and probably since the dawn of time. Men are visually stimulated, hormonally driven creatures. But not every man is the same and perhaps not all men have these characteristics Men aren’t a puzzle we need to solve and relationships of all sizes are much easier if you file some of these tips away in your memory for later reference.
1. Communication. If you went out for an amazing date, but he doesn’t call or text you after or you get only one text and nothing more and he doesn’t respond, let it go. For whatever reason, he’s not there for you and ‘chasing’ him is a waste of your time, your time is worth more than that.
2. Conversation and Interests. Men stay interested in someone who is interesting, has something to say and generally makes a good conversation. May sound simple, but not everything is complicated. Your work, hobbies, and individual endeavors that you love to do can lead to conversations that are compelling and captivating. Constantly talking about shopping or what your girlfriends said or your trip to the hairdresser is not going to hold his interest.
3. Mind Reader. He isn’t a mind reader. If you don’t speak up and tell him what you want and need he won’t know. You deserve to be treated with kindness, patience, and generosity. You deserve to have your needs honored. He hears you best when you speak softly and don’t carry a baseball bat.
4. Chemistry. The chemistry is either there for him, or it isn’t. It can’t be forced. (And if you don’t feel it for him, don’t string him along until “something better” comes along.) If he says he “just wants to be friends,” that means it’s not happening for him and it’s not going to. Nothing you say or do is going to change that. Put on your big girl pants, be kind, and walk away.
5. Intimacy. Men are attracted to lots of women, but the ones they bond with are almost always the ones who don’t rush into physical intimacy. The longer you wait to sexualize the relationship, the more they trust you—and desire you.
6. Feelings. He doesn’t tell you how he feels about something because he doesn’t know. Men are not as intuitive, introspective, or in touch with their feelings as women are. He can’t tell you something he isn’t aware of.
7. Expectations. Watch out for the expectations of what you think he is, what you want him to be, or what you think he will become. Expectations and wanting people to be the way we want them to be are the source of all of our misery in relationships. Expectations cloud your vision and make it so hard to just “be” in the moment. Accept what is, including the fact that if he isn’t it, you’ll need to move on.
8. Compliments. He likes to hear compliments. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge him. He wants to know what you like about him and that he makes you happy. He also wants and needs your respect. He is not as confident as you may think he is or he may think he is.
9. Appearances. A man wants to be with someone he is proud of. A man likes it when people admire the woman he is with. He wants you to keep yourself looking good, probably has a few private fears that you will let yourself go, and definitely always wants you to be dressed appropriately and dressed to please him—not other women.
10. Problems. Men like to fix things. Have you ever noticed if you tell a man about your day and your frustrations they offer advice on how to fix the issues or problems, also they can get offended if you don’t take up their advice? Some men find it frustrating to listen to the problems of the woman in their life and they are not able to fix it. With some men, it will be easier if you keep your problems brief and talk to a friend about them.
11. Cooking. Cooking is seductive. A man will be very impressed if you can cook, and even more impressed if you can do it well. You don’t have to do it for every time you meet, or even once a week, but making dinner for him once in a while will earn you lots of brownie points. Some say the way to a mans heart is through his stomach…
12. Ex-boyfriends. The truth is a man doesn’t want to hear about your ex-boyfriends. If he ever asks, keep it general. If you need sympathy and understanding for being mistreated in the past, you need to talk to a friend, mentor, or counselor about it. If you complain to him about your past hurts, he thinks you want him to DO something about it. He can’t, even if he wants to.
Now’s your chance to learn what every woman needs to know about men.
Beautifully written! That describes me to a T! You're a very wise woman. 🙂